Valentine's Day is just around the corner, which means that sappy love songs will soon have dominion over our ears unless we actively protect ourselves from them. I'd rather not define myself as one of those bitter sods who hate love and puppies and ice cream, but I'm also grown up enough to know that life just isn't that simple. Ice cream is full of fattening compounds, puppies are as destructive as they are adorable and love isn't a gentle panacea for all the ills of the world, it's a difficult, complicated experience that compels people to do stupid, stupid things. Later this week I'll let all the heart-shaped candies and diamond commercials break through my rough exterior, but today it's all about those amazing anti-love songs, the ones that use all the kinetic emotional power of a breakup to fuel truly good music.
No Children by The Mountain Goats
The North Carolina by way of Southern California pub rockers The Mountain Goats have been co-opting the rough sounds of Irish house bands since late in 1995. They specialize in a wordy, if downtrodden, variety of acoustic rock that practically requires a glass full of whiskey for the listening experience. On the 2002 album Tallahassee you'll find the acerbic gem "No Children", a paean to the unfiltered bitterness of a messy breakup. John Darnielle's lyrics are unambiguous in their sheer scale of hatred. The song is both funny and genuine with every line about bridges collapsing the whole world generally falling apart in the wake of the singer's failed relationship. After all, when a truly long, tumultuous romance comes to an end, it doesn't just feel like two people are going their separate ways, it feels like the entire universe deserves a good whipping.
Bob Dylan has written more good breakup songs than most musicians manage to write good love songs. Some are sullen and regretful, some are nonchalant, but one in particular channels all the conflicting emotions of two people failing to come to terms. "Idiot Wind" from 1974's Blood on the Tracks is an epic, running just short of eight minutes and depicting an impressive evolution of character throughout. The song begins with a man narrating a fantasy of universal persecution, but "Idiot Wind" quickly jumps to berating an unnamed lover for their outright stupidity. "You're an idiot, babe/ it's a wonder that/ you still know how to breathe", Dylan sings. But by the end of the song the anger turns to resignation, dubbing both the singer and his former object of affection equally to blame.
Love Goes Home to Paris in the Spring by The Magnetic Fields
The Magnetic Fields have produced a staggering number of songs about love. Even if you ignore the whopping triple album 69 Love Songs, band leader Stephin Merritt has shown an almost religious devotion to the topic. In a nice twist, a large chunk of Merritt's love songs are about the failures and disappointments of relationships. It's hard to choose the best among them, but the classic "Love Goes Home to Paris in the Spring" from The House of Tomorrow is an easy favorite. Unlike today's other selections, this song isn't a passionate, angry affair so much as an expression of weary exasperation. Merritt sings to his unsatisfying lover, "I've had enough/ you never give me anything" after enumerating all the things he's had to give up to keep his significant other happy.
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